Humbled

2009-12-05T04:01:00.000-08:00

Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth, Would care to know my name, Would care to feel my hurt. Who am I?
That the bright and morning star, Would choose to light the way, For my ever wandering heart.

Words from one of my favorite songs. Everyday I ask this question,"who am I?" I don't truly know. I am told I am a good friend, a funny lady, one with a big heart. I am also told that I am lazy, selfish, stubborn, a "liberal, Oprah watching bitch" and to top it off, a "bad mother- who doesn't give a shit about her kids"
Who says these things you ask? It doesn't matter. They are said in anger, and I'm told to forget, but I can't. I'm told to grow up, but it hurts too much. Why then, do I put up with it? I don't know anymore. I am broken most of the time. I listen to Christian radio to bring up my Spirit. I laugh with co-workers. I try and play and spend time with my kids. It still hurts.
The most painful part of this whole thing is that even tho the person who inflicts all these comments and insults upon me, doesn't really, truly know how much it hurts. And it does!

Not because of who I am, But because of what you've done. Not because
of what I've done, But because of who you are. I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And
you've told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.

Catching up

2009-09-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

I know, it's been a while since my last post. I honestly just have not had the time to sit still, plus the free wireless internet is not always reliable. We have been living in our camper now for 17 months. Hopefully soon we will move into a house. We are looking to rent. The boys started their 2nd year in public school. Daniel is 8th and Darin in 2nd. Both are doing well. Darin has joined his brother in scouts this year. He is in the Cub Scout Wolf Pack. He loves it.
I have been training at the 911 center - dispatching EMS. I love it. New soft wear was recently installed on the computers, so everyone is adjusting and learning all over again.
Dan is doing an awesome job with the boys and keeping up the house. I am so blessed to have him.
Hopefully I will be able to keep the blog up to date. Stay tuned!

In between innings at the Lookouts home opener.

2009-04-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

Darin playing "Roll the burger" at the l
Lookouts home opener.

Phew!

2009-04-13T18:19:00.001-07:00

The "eyes" have it.

2009-04-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

Darin has had eye issues since the beginning. While feeding him one day, I noticed that his eyes would dart back and forth, like he was watching a very fast tennis game. The pediatrician noticed too and sent us off to a specialist. He was diagnosed with Occular Albinsm, Ocular albinism is an inherited condition in which the eyes lack melanin pigment, while the skin and hair show normal or near-normal coloration.
The lack of pigment in the eyes causes various vision problems:
Reduced visual acuity from 20/60 to 20/400 (Darin is 20/70) Nystagmus - involuntary back-and-forth movement of the eyes,
Strabismus - crossed eyes or "lazy" eye, and
Sensitivity to bright light and glare. At 6 mos old he wore very thick glasses to try an correct his lazy eyes and Nystagmus.

In the past few years, I had honestly forgotten the diagnosis and pushed him to be a better reader. It wasn't until a few weeks after he started school that we heard from both his reading teacher and the school nurse about his vision problems. For him, it's very difficult to focus on the words. His eyes are not working together, so you often see him turning his head to favor mostly his left eye. The realization of his struggles broke my heart. I felt like the worst parent in the world. How could I have overlooked this? I am so blessed to have such great communication between myself and all Darin's teachers and helpers at his school. We have found a wonderful specialist in the area, who takes the time to test and evaluate Darin thoroughly. He will have special reading materials provided for him at school along with one on one help from all his teachers. He is so smart and I know he will go far.

Thank you God, for all that you have shown us, taught us... We are forever thankful for your grace.

Spring Break!

2009-04-10T04:48:00.000-07:00

It just so happens that every 12 weeks, my 2 days off a week collide with another 2 days off with a personal day in the middle, creating 5 days off in a row!!! This week the boys were off school and I was off work - YAY! Family time!

With my work schedule taking up the evenings, I only get to see the boys in the morning, when I join them at the bus stop. I often take them early just so we can share some one on one time.

I miss them terribly when I have to work, but I know they are in good hands. Dan does such an awesome job making sure they are safe, fed and well behaved.

Getting over the bumps in the road.

2009-03-26T04:37:00.000-07:00

Back in October, our lives came to a sudden halt, when Dan came home one day without a job. He was tired, he was stressed, and he told me - "honey, I don't know if I can do this anymore."
For the next 3 months, we both searched for work. December came and right before Christmas, I was blessed with a full time job, doing something I have always loved, public service. I look forward to work each day. But, it came with a price, I miss my family while I'm gone.
In December, something else came to a sudden halt, Homeschooling! We have taught our boys at home from day 1. Vowing that we would never put them in the public school system...
Shortly after New Years, we enrolled them both in public school. We were anxious, terrified, sad, happy - a whirlwind of emotions.
3 months later...
Daniel is an "A" student, has overcome some bullying issues, tried out for Baseball, got over not making the team, has a handful of good friends, and looks forward to trying out for football. He is an enthusiastic student and never needs pushed to do his assignments.

Darin had a rougher start. He is a brilliant Math student, but when it comes to reading and writing...he's all boy! Stubborn! His 1st report card was OK, but with some room for improvement. Now he brings home a much better report card and I look forward to the teacher conference next week. He is a star student.

We are so proud of both boys. We never, in a million years, thought they would be taught in the public schools. We have had some glitches with bullies and breakdowns, but communication with the schools has been great, and we are pleased so far.
We are getting over the bumps in the road.

Here I am...

2009-02-28T06:02:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted for a while, because every time I sit down to do so, something else comes up. Since the kids are in school now, I find that I am sleeping more in the mornings. Something I have not been able to do for a long time. Enjoying the quiet, peaceful rest with my hubby curled up beside me. At least for a few hours. Then there are things I like to do before I go to work. Laundry, shopping etc... It's a different lifestyle now. The boys are doing well in school. They seem to enjoy it. Daniel wants to tryout for baseball next week, and Darin tells us about his good behavior and all the kids he plays with at recess. So far so good. Dan is still unemployed, but I'm glad that he's home. He takes such good care of everything that I never worry. It's too bad he isn't making money for what he does. His salary would be huge! I'm so glad he is who he is and that he works hard to keep us safe and warm.
Work has been interesting. I am no longer training on the phones. In fact, our whole class was released last month, and we are on our own. I am stationed on the EMD side, which means, any medical calls get transferred to me and I alert dispatch to send out the ambulance. I also answer regular 911 calls for police and fire. I've had assault calls, burglary calls, suicide threats, and a variety of interesting people. We were told at the beginning that our phone conversations are always recorded and sometimes released to the public if there is a high profile incident. Well, my first released call made the "Chattanoogan" an on line news source. I answered a call about a break in, and the slow police response made the news. I cannot discuss any more details, but it certainly was weird hearing myself. Now that I am part of public service, I need to get used to that. All I can say is that, if you ever have an issue with any part of public service, whether it be police, fire, ems or 911 - educate yourself before you make any accusations of wrong doing. I see it too often. The public is quick to find fault, when things don't go their way.
I enjoy my work, and I do the best I can to assist the public in times of trouble. I plan on a lengthy future with 911. It's satisfying going home at night knowing that I've helped someone.

2009-02-08T05:58:00.000-08:00

Sammy and new friend Daisy.

My teenager!

2009-02-02T03:27:00.000-08:00

Daniel turned 13 Sunday and it was a very special day - Superbowl Sunday! He spent time with family, neighbors and friends and cheered the Steelers on to their nailbiting victory over the Cardinals - phew!

Well, I never...

2009-01-28T07:27:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking the last few days and it has occured to me that we have had some major changes to our lives this past year. Here is a random list of things that have happened that I never imagined would...

bought a 31 ft RV and moved into it full time.
Dan gets laid off, permanently.
Janet applys for 911 job, passes screening exam, earns full time position.
Both boys are enrolled in public school.

4 things. Doesn't seem like a lot. They're huge, and I still feel like I'm living in a dream. I truly believe that this is the path that God has chosen for us. We flipped our lives upsidown and we're happy about it. Will the future bring better things? I believe it will. God is good. The boys are doing really well in their schools, making friends, learning and most importantly, being safe. Things aer working out for the good. I love my job. I am back in an element that I enjoy. Public service. I missed what I did. For almost 10 years, it became a favorite hobby, the hours, the people I worked with. I loved it. It was field work, sometimes messy, sometimes emotionally draining. When I left, I never thought I would look back. It's where I belong. Where God wants me for now. It's not about me. It's about God's plan for me and my family. I may not go to church, I may not read the Bible as often as I should, but I believe. There is a purpose.

Beware!

2009-01-17T05:45:00.000-08:00

Curse Of The Terrible Towel

A Poem By Dave Crawley
There is power, they say, in the towels that wave.

Like black and gold shrouds on the visitor's grave.

It's a mojo opponents should never neglect.

The Terrible Towel requires respect.
Then this! A deed unspeakably foul!

The Tennessee Titans defiles the towel!

Although their crass actions made Steeler fans wince,

You'll notice that Titan team hasn't won since.
They lost to the Colts. Then the Ravens came in,

A game Tennessee was expected to win.

But the curse of the towel gave Tennessee shakes,

As they sank in a series of stunning mistakes.
Our Black and Gold guys had a much different story.

Santonio Holmes led the gallop to glory.

Fast Willie scored, and the Steelers were winning.

For the Chargers the torment was only beginning.
Third quarter. Alas, on the Bolts' only play,

Foote gives them the boot, and he takes it away.

The towels were twirling as Ben let it go,

And the much maligned offense was starting to flow.
That towel brings sorcery into the fray.

If you don't believe it, well, check out this play.

To add to the Chargers' grim feelings of dread,

A punt that careened off this poor fellow's head.
The message, of course, as we hooted with glee,

From the Terrible Towel: Do not tread on me.

A word to the Ravens. The moment draws nigh..

This is the reason you're still flying high.
The Titans besmirched it, and now to our glee

They will be watching this game on TV.

As you enter the confines where Steeler fans howl:

Beware of the curse of the Terrible Towel

Weekly Wrap Up

2009-01-16T05:22:00.000-08:00

I've never done this - so here it goes.

Monday: Off to school. This will be the first full week of public school for the boys. They seem to be doing well. Darin's writing and reading skills are improving each day and his teacher is impressed with his math skills. Daniel has made several friends and is comfortable with middle school. Mom trudged off to work at 3. My CTO (certified training officer) is off this week, so I have to spend the next 3 days with another CTO. She was great, and I got to observe answering the police lines.

Tuesday: Not a good morning. Darin refused to get up. After a tiring confrontation, he got up, ate breakfast and I drove him to school. I called him from work after he got home and he told me one of his classmates had a birthday party and he got a cupcake. He no longer hesitates to get up. What a trooper! Work was fun, I got to answer the non emergency police lines. People call with the strangest requests.

Wednesday: Another cold morning. Kids made it off to school without a problem. Mom goes off to work to answer the police lines again.

Thursday: Brrrrr! Drove the boys to the bus stop, which is at the entrance to the park. Mom's day off. Came home and slept until 10am!!! The got up, showered, vacuumed and went shopping with the neighbor. Freedom is good for the soul! I miss the boys, but they come home everyday with positive stories. Did the laundry and watched "Miracle on the Hudson" with amazement! God was definitely the co pilot there!

Friday: Double brrrrrrr! We were warm and cozy last night. Darin joined us in our bed because he was cold in his. Daniel has a thermal sleeping bag so he was fine. So with Dan, Darin, Sammy and me, we were plenty warm. Mom's 2nd day off - I'm staying inside today. I may go to storage to find out little heaters.

School (part 2)

2009-01-10T20:57:00.000-08:00

All day I waited with baited breath. I cleaned their room - thoroughly!!!

When the bus came with Darin, as you can see, he jumped off with a huge smile on his face.

He loved it! He made instant friends, like he always does, and couldn't wait to go back. His only complaint? The cafeteria cheeseburger was "the worst I ever had"

Daniel also had a good day. He even had a math test and only missed 2 - yipeee! I did something right!

1st Day of School!

2009-01-08T05:46:00.000-08:00

They were so excited this morning. I don't have the words right now.

They got on the bus so fast, and I was all caught up in the moment. The pictures aren't very good. I hope they have a good day and I hope this is a good thing.

School!

2009-01-06T04:09:00.001-08:00

We are all feeling all of the emotions associated with starting school for the first time. Even though it's winter and the schools have been in full swing since fall, we decided not to wait.

Darin will be in the 1st grade at West Side Elem. with a very nice teacher whom we met yesterday. We are anxious about him. He can be very strong willed and stubborn when it comes to learning. I honestly don't know how he will do. He will be tested right off the bat to see where he is, and I have a feeling that he will need some help to get him back up to speed.

Daniel will be in the 7th grade in a fairly large school at Lakeview Middle School(700+ students). We toured the school yesterday and he did not get a chance to meet his teachers, but he was given instructions for his first day. He's hard to read lately, but I think he's excited, if not terrified. Homeschooling was the right choice in the beginning. Daniel did great, and I think he will fit right in to his new school. He has a solid background and good morals. He has a big, generous heart and a lot of common sense. The only challenge right now is the pre-teen attitude is starting to rear it's ugly head. It's manageable for now. I think he needs time away from little brother, which now he will get for about 8 hours Mon - Fri.

We did a lot of heavy praying about this decision to put both boys in public school. Location of the schools and the state we live in had a big play in that decision. If we lived in TN, we would have either moved to GA or would have found a way to keep them at home.

Catoosa County Schools here we come!

"Nine wun wun, location of your emergency"

2008-12-30T05:03:00.000-08:00

If you call me at home and I answer this way - sorry! It's been done before. Years ago, when I first started working as an EMT for a municipal ambulance service in the northern suburbs of Pittsburgh, PA, we would answer the dispatch phone (before 911) "Ambulance service, do you have an emergency?" After long shifts and lots of overtime, I would drag myself home, crawl into bed and sleep. A few times, while at home, the phone would ring and I would have to think before I answered - where am I, am I at work? "Ambulance ser.....uh sorry...hello?"

You get into a routine at 911, a rhythm, you have to. Every caller is different, and every emergency is different, but you have to put them through the same routine every time.
"Where are you? What's wrong? How did it happen? Don't get frustrated with these questions. The ambulance is being dispatched while we talk." We become like robots, neutral, unaffected by the hysteria or emotion of the caller, but only for that moment on the phone while the information is gathered. We do have a heart. There is professionalism there. I say a quick healing prayer after every call I take. It is an emotionally draining job. I try and put myself in their shoes, so that I can create a visual picture of what's going on. I can especially relate to the parents calling for their sick or injured child. I've been there! "I understand. It's ok. You're upset and I'm sending the medics as fast as they can get there. Try and be calm for your little one. He needs you and I need you to help me, help you. I'm a mommy too." Works for the most part. It is difficult. Especially when they have crossed over what we call the "threshold of hysteria". At that point, you go with what you have and do your best to calm them down. It is a rewarding job. You have a sense of accomplishment when you hear the ambulance arrive on scene and then a short while later, call en route to the hospital. The patient is receiving care, out of your hands.
Pray for a quick recovery and future health.

Happy New Year, and I hope you never have to call me at work. At least not on the 911 line - LOL
Be safe!

The Three Trees!

2008-12-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

Once upon a mountaintop, three little trees stood

and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up.

The first little tree looked up at the starts twinkling
like diamonds above him. "I want to hold treasure," he said.

"I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones.

I will be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!"

The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on its way to the ocean.

"I want to be a strong sailing ship," he said.

"I want to travel mighty waters and carry powerful kings.

I will be the strongest ship in the world!"

The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. "I don't want to leave this mountaintop at all," she said.

"I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me they will raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world!"

Years passed. The rains came, the sun shone, and the little trees grew tall.

One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain.

The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the first tree fell. "Now I shall be made into a beautiful chest," thought the first tree. "I shall hold wonderful treasure."

The second woodcutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters," thought the second tree. "I shall be a strong ship fit for kings!"

The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked her way.

She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven.

But the woodcutter never even looked up.

"Any kind of tree will do for me," he muttered.

With a swoop of his shining axe, the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the woodcutter brought him to a carpenter's shop,

but the busy carpenter was not thinking about treasure chests.

Instead his work-worn hands fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals.

The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold or filled with treasure. He was coated with sawdust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals.

The second tree smiled when the woodcutter took him to a shipyard,

but no mighty sailing ships were being made that day.

Instead the once-strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat.

Too small and too weak to sail an ocean or even a river,

he was taken to a little lake. Everyday he brought in loads of dead, smelly fish.

The third tree was confused when the woodcutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" the once tall tree wondered.

All I ever wanted to do was stay on the mountaintop and point to God."

Many, many days and nights passed.

The three trees nearly forgot their dreams.

But one night golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feedbox. ”I wish I could make a cradle for him," her husband whispered.

The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and sturdy wood. "This manger is beautiful" she said.

And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat.

The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake.

Soon a thrashing storm arose.

The little tree shuddered.

He knew he did not have the strength

to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and rain.

The tired man awaken. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, "Peace."

The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun.

And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the king of heaven and earth!

One Friday morning the third tree was startled when her beams

were yanked from the forgotten woodpile.

She flinched as she was carried through an angry, jeering crowd.

She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hands to her.

She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning,

when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her,

the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything.

He had made the first tree beautiful.

He had made the second tree strong.

And every time people thought of the third tree,

they would think of God.

And that was better than being the tallest tree in the world.

Almost wordless Wednesday

2008-12-16T19:00:00.001-08:00

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY!

Ch ch ch ch changes

2008-12-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

Today I made a phone call I thought I would never make. We have decided to enroll both boys in public school. I have mixed feelings about it, but at the same time I feel peace. I know God will protect them. This is a huge change for us and I don't think it has hit me yet. The boys seem to be anxious and excited. Wow. I just don't know what else to say right now.
Pray for a smooth transition.

Pardon me!

2008-12-06T05:34:00.000-08:00

For some reason, the font color for my posts will not change colors for me. I have been trying to get it to snow on my page, but I keep getting an error message. I'll keep working on it - sorry if it's hard to read.

Classroom time

2008-12-09T16:19:00.000-08:00

For the next 2 weeks, my time will be spent in a classroom setting, learning all aspects of being a 911 dispatcher. Types of calls, types of callers etc... It's intense! After my 2 weeks, I'll be out on the floor with my trainer. They are starting me on the EMS side, where I already have experience. I'll keep ya'll posted.

BRRRRRRRR!

2008-12-07T05:41:00.001-08:00

Aaahhhhh! Much better!

Observation Day 2

2008-12-05T13:22:00.000-08:00

Today was not much different than yesterday. The dispatch center was freezing cold due to a heater/ AC malfunction. They can't heat it up too warm because of all the computers and radios, so we shiver while the calls come in. I sat in the same area I was in yesterday., Hamilton County EMS/ Fire and East Ridge PD. The dispatch system is amazing. The second the call comes in, the address pops up on the computer screen, and within a few minutes the proper units are dispatched. It's all computerized! It's really neat to watch a call from the time the 911 call comes in to the time the call is completed and all crews are back in service.
Monday morning I report to class at the academy. That goes on for the next 2 weeks. After that, I'm not sure what's next. Stay tuned!

Observation Day 1

2008-12-04T13:55:00.000-08:00

Today, I observed 1st shift (7am -3pm) Hamilton County Fire/ EMS and East Ridge Police, Fire/ EMS. The Communications center is divided into different areas. There is Chattanooga City Police and Fire.(front in photo) Hamilton County (where I was)(center of photo) and Hamilton County Sheriff. ( far wall in photo) I was given a headset and I mainly observed. Learning a little about the computers and phone lines. When a 911 call came in, I listened in. It was very busy and I felt very comfortable. I am really looking forward to the communications academy next week. I guess I'll have to do some back to school shopping this weekend -LOL!

Here are some tips to help you if you ever need to call 911.

What happens when you dial 911?

Your call is answered by the police agency having jurisdiction in the area the call is made from.

If you are reporting a fire or medical emergency your call is transferred on the 911 system to us.

Our EMDs will determine where you need help.

We will obtain a callback number from you in case we are disconnected or need to contact you again.

We will ask detailed questions concerning the nature of the emergency.

These questions are used to discover the severity of the emergency and to determine what you can do to help the patient / situation until skilled assistance arrives.

These questions are NOT to determine if you qualify for a response, in most cases help has already been dispatched while you talk to the EMD.

As soon as the location and type of emergency is known the call is entered into our Computer Aided Dispatch (CAD) system.

While our EMD call taker assists you on 911 the dispatcher is already sending help to you.

Our standard is to have help on the way in less than 60 seconds.

In case of a serious problem or unstable condition our EMD call taker may stay on the line with you until help arrives. In most cases the call is ended once all the necessary information is obtained.

What can you do to help?

Call from a land line (non-cellular) phone if one is readily available. Most newer cell phones have what's called phase 2 - which helps the 911 tracking system find you within several yards of the call. Older phones are tracked to the nearest cell tower, which may be miles away from the emergency.

Know the address where help is needed.

Stay calm and listen to the EMD ( Emergency Medical Dispatcher) call taker.

Answer the EMDs questions. These questions are not an interrogation, they are designed to determine what type and how much help to send, the severity of the call, and what instructions to give.

Follow the EMDs instructions. They are meant to help the patient.

Don’t hang up until the EMD says you can.
If the situation changes before help arrives, call back.